just getting deeper in.

last night was AMAZING! i got to see him and hangout with him again finally. It's just getting harder and harder to let go though. He is leaving in a couple months and I don't need to fall even harder. I realized last night, how bad I am truly going to miss him once he is gone. I realized how bad I really do want him. In the middle of us kissing i just started crying... like seriously, i was balling. I don't know what was wrong with me, I know he was pretty confused as well. He kept asking me what is wrong, but i couldn't even speak. finally I was under control and all that came out of my mouth was "I miss you." He just hugged me tight and kissed my shoulder. I am guessing that means he misses me too?. I can't help but ask myself, is this going to be like last summer again? Is this just going to be another summer romance? I really wish he could see through me, see what I really feel for him. I have told him a million times but i don't think that is enough. He still just doesn't get it. I feel like I am too young to be feeling this way. I feel like older people are reading this saying, "wow, she really has no clue yet." or just thinking I am an idiot. I have just been so confused lately about everything. I need to get things figured this summer. I need to get over my fears, conquer my anxiety and depression, and I need to be happy again.