School & Such.

Senior year has been pretty fantastic! Some of the work is hard, but i am getting through it somewhat! So i had homecoming on the 25th of September. It was way fun! we went out to dinner at Carvers, this really nice stake and seafood house. It had the best Shrimp ever! Way expensive too. So, after that we went to the dance and had a blast! But somebody stole my jacket thing, I was so mad! oh well though. 
Also just recently me and my friend Ashley signed up for powder puff football! We have had two practices so far. they are short, but fun. We honestly really such though haha. now i can see why mostly guys play this sport. but anyways, GO SENIORS! 

(here are some photos of what has just been going on.)

FOOTBALL!

                                                   FOOTBALL!

 FOOTBALL!

                                                 FOOTBALL!

After football games!! 

Senior Year!

I stared school on the 25th of August. So far it gas been great! I actually love pretty much all my classes, besides English. I have a feeling this is going to be an awesome year! Also this last Friday, i just got asked to homecoming(: I am super excited to go! I am going with my good friend Tyler Wiabel! He is such and awesome person! so, he got me these gorgeous flowers. that is how he asked me! I got called down to the office and the lady gave them to me. It just made my whole day(: walking back into class I felt like the envy of every girl carrying those flowers! haha. I just love that feeling! soo, If you are reading this Tyler.. Thanks again! :) and noo this is not your answer yet! hahaha.

lookin up(:

sooo, I am completely over Bryan. You have no idea how good it feels to be free from him. He is not a good person for me. Well actually he is just not a goof person at all. ha. It took me a whole year to realize that. But hey, it's better now than never. I am sooo much happier now and feel like I can move forward in my life, instead of being stuck in the past. I seriously think that is why i struggled through school this last year. I was stuck in a weird state of mind where i just didn't care and all I wanted was to turn back time. I am looking forward to a much better and brighter year that is coming up soon! I can't believe I am going to be a senior! can you say scary? Everything is going by so much faster than i thought it would. high school is almost over for me and it feels like it has just barely started. I just hope I am going to be prepared enough for the 'real' world. I got a lot of prepping to do in a year! Wish me luck! :)

gone..

He wants nothing to do with me anymore... this is so hard to accept. after everything we have been through. it's just so hard to take in so quick. how could i do this to myself, how could i set myself up AGAIN to be hurt? I mean he has said things to me like this before, but this time i think it is for real. I'm never going to see him again.. I'm never going to be able to talk to him, never touch him again, never kiss, hug, laugh with, nothing! This is the worst feeling ever. I want him so badly it kills me. but now it is time for me to let him go. as hard as it is, i need to. I am gradually erasing him out of my life. forever. I deleted him off my friends on myspace, facebook, and also his number out of my phone. he's hopefully going to be nothing but a blurred memory. I'm done being hurt. I'm done waiting around for him. I'm done crying. but most of all I'm done believing. goodbye Bry. 

just getting deeper in.

last night was AMAZING! i got to see him and hangout with him again finally. It's just getting harder and harder to let go though. He is leaving in a couple months and I don't need to fall even harder. I realized last night, how bad I am truly going to miss him once he is gone. I realized how bad I really do want him. In the middle of us kissing i just started crying... like seriously, i was balling. I don't know what was wrong with me, I know he was pretty confused as well. He kept asking me what is wrong, but i couldn't even speak. finally I was under control and all that came out of my mouth was "I miss you." He just hugged me tight and kissed my shoulder. I am guessing that means he misses me too?. I can't help but ask myself, is this going to be like last summer again? Is this just going to be another summer romance? I really wish he could see through me, see what I really feel for him. I have told him a million times but i don't think that is enough. He still just doesn't get it. I feel like I am too young to be feeling this way. I feel like older people are reading this saying, "wow, she really has no clue yet." or just thinking I am an idiot. I have just been so confused lately about everything. I need to get things figured this summer. I need to get over my fears, conquer my anxiety and depression, and I need to be happy again.

Happy Mothers Day!

well its mothers day and i decided to post a poem i wrote for my mom. its called
"Mothers are there"

Mothers are there to warm your heart.
Mothers are there when you're falling apart.
Mothers are then when you get your first bruise.
Mothers are there to make it easy to choose.
Mothers are there to help you know write from wrong.
Mothers are there to sing you a song.
Mothers are there to help you sleep.
Mothers are there for you to keep.
Mothers are there to represent who they are.
But a mother like you won't ever be too far.


so yeahh that was my poem :) and i would just like to say how much i love my mom! she is the best! she does everything for me. she is such a strong women and a wonderful example. thank you mom for the best 17 years of my life! love you!

Updates!

well i sure have a hard time keeping up with this thing! ha. but anyways might as well update it. sooo the beginning of march i had dance tryouts! and it was sooo much fun! i made dance 3! :) which i am soo excited for! it should be way fun!

3/20 I had prom! wow that was wayy fun! we had it at the La Callie, what a beautiful place that was! i was freaking amazed by it! the picture on the right is me and my date Robert. :)

My birthday was just this last Tuesday (march 30th). I am 17 now! whoot! 1 year away from 18... scary! i have to be responsible now.. ha!

well i gotta poem i would like to show its short, sweet, and to the point! ha it's about a certain someone...

Day by day, i feel you slipping away.

Now there is nothing more i can really say.

I honestly do think i need you this time,

and i hate the feeling of knowing you could have been mine.

But now you're leaving, and it's time for me to think things through.

So with this poem i bid you adieu.

no this poem is not to the guy in the picture with me... ha. it's about someone i am very fond of and used to be very close to. but things fell apart between us, which i always regret everyday! i want him with me all the time! i have never missed someone so much in my entire life. i just wish he would come back to me! but now he's not his girl and I've got my boy drew so i need to move on. he is leaving on his mission soon anyways so i wont see him for 2 years!! thats gonna be really hard for sure! but ohh well, i will see him soon enough.